Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Wardrobe of a SAHM: School Visit

Since I've dubbed this back to school week, I thought it would be appropriate to dive into what we should look like when visiting our child's elementary school. Last week, we got into what you should wear to preschool pickup (click here so you know what we're talking about). One might think that the same attire is appropriate for a school visit. One would be mistaken.

Preschool is is an every day, routine, ain't nobody got time for that look. No one expects you to put on real clothes for a preschool pickup. If you are visiting your child's elementary school, you must actually get dressed. Parents of middle school or high school students: dress as you see fit to properly embarrass your child. That's your role as a middle/high school parent. Elementary school parents: please do not embarrass your child. They are not equipped to handle it. That's what they learn in the tween years, along with the sigh/eye-roll.

Elementary parents: no embarrassing, it's just mean. Middle/High school parents: it's expected, please embarrass accordingly.

Glad we cleared that up.

Since I have no children above elementary school, I cannot speak to the older grades. You guys are on your own but I would love to hear from you so I can plan ahead. Elementary parents, this is for you.

How to dress for a school visit

It doesn't really matter why you're at school: lunch visit, class party, project drop-off. You need to wear real clothes (i.e. no yoga pants, something with a zipper). 

Acceptable Attire:

jeans (really any kind of pants; nice shorts are also accepted)

Preferably skinny, but any non-mom jean is acceptable; all colors are currently accepted but that is not a blanket statement for years to come. Make an effort people.

skirts or dresses

All tastefully done, of course. Nothing too short or too low cut- 1st graders don't need to see your goods, ladies. If you wear something inappropriate, you will be discussed. Count on it. 
Think casual here. No need to bust out a prom dress or something fancy. You're in an elementary school, not a black-tie event. 

sweaters, t-shirts or non-revealing tanks

Operative word here is, again, appropriate. Think about what you're going to be doing (i.e. are you bending over to help kids?) & make sure the girls are covered. I really can't say it enough.  


All shoes are generally fair game. Watch the heels, though. Nothing like a spike heel on 5 year old toes to get everyone talking. 


Now, this is where you need to step it up a notch. Everyone knows that the mark of a successful SAHM is the quality of her purse. (That's sarcasm, in case you missed it. In fact, this entire series of posts is satirical in case you missed that too ;) I'd never dream of telling anyone what to wear, except, of course, my husband.) If you've got it, bring it. If you have a quality fake, bring it. Please no bad fake bags: you know the ones, with the diamonds & stars instead of the LV. Everyone knows the difference. Know what you're buying, people. This was the bag of choice in my area, in the past years (or some variation of it). Wonder what this year will bring? Santa? (cough, cough)


It should have the appearance of being clean & somewhat managed. You don't have to bust out the flat iron but look like you at least brushed it.


Necessary, but minimal. Smoky eyes are not a requirement for volunteering in a 2nd grade classroom. At least they weren't last year. 

Following these guidelines should help you smoothly pass by the front office without anyone looking twice. School is not the place you want to stand out, unless of course, you need a lot of attention. If that's you, then knock yourself out. You'll get it ;)

** Can I sidebar for a second here? I'd like to make a statement on leggings:
It is my personal belief that everyone can & should be able to wear leggings. They are comfortable & currently stylish & can provide warmth in the winter. However, leggings are not pants & should not be worn as so. Unless you are built like a toothpick, you should wear a shirt that covers your booty. Otherwise, you appear to be half-dressed or on your way to exercise (ok if it's a preschool pickup, not ok for elementary school). Toothpicks may wear whatever they'd like because they are toothpicks. It is their right. The rest of us need to cover it up. That is all.

Changing the world, one pair of pants at a time.

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